There's rarely a week that goes by--two, at most--when a phone call arrives (at home, at work . . . wherever a telephone exists) with an unrecognizable number associated with it that inevitably results in some form of automated being on the other end of the line providing the information that someone would like to speak with you. Presumably, someone human. "Alive" wouldn't really narrow it down enough, since something is living enough to create the automated voice. Granted, sometimes it feels like talking to an answering machine (or voicemail for you hipsters) is just like having a conversation, but that's neither here nor there.
"This isn't an urgent matter," or "There's nothing wrong with your account," are always great conversation starters in this situation. Then, you get the, "But, please stay on the line for some important information about . . .," or my absolute favorite, "Please call this number to speak with" someone presumably standing by, awaiting a human voice to reach out to them and discuss this non-important situation that you need to call about.
If it's that important, 1) Wouldn't you-as a concerned individual who examines every aspect of your existence for inaccuracies--already know something about it, and be doing your best to rectify the situation; or 2) Shouldn't there be a person calling you?
Pork chop sandwiches?!
It's interesting what "important" means to a given person. To you, more specifically. Perhaps it's a task at work that needs to be completed, like, yesterday, and you're scrambling to finish it. You finally complete it, satisfied, and then it's left behind (say, the end of the day, or the next task is now commencing, or perhaps it's filed away in favor of a different direction). All that "importance" has virtually vanished or--more unbelievably, been relegated unimportant. Inconceivable! But it was everything, all consuming, mind-bendingly imperative that it be done, done, done.
Now, bupkiss.
Context is key. "Important" could refer to higher goals, i.e., what's important to your life--is it wealth, health, or happiness? Is this love, that I'm feeling? Is this love that I've been searching for? Family? Friends? Acceptance? Solitude? The response can certainly evolve, especially as you age. At 5 you can break down crying because you can't have chocolate cake for breakfast. The. world. is. over. At 25 you'd probably just eat chocolate cake for breakfast, or in lieu of that a cold slice of pizza (merely shrugging at the absence of cake).
When I was in grade school (whatever that means) I didn't want to wear any shirts that had distinguishing items on them--say, an Izod alligator. I just wanted to blend into the woodwork and go about my business without providing the opportunity to be ridiculed or stereotyped. Now, it's all about the Hawaiian shirts and Elvis sunglasses.
Whatever works for you, baby. Go with it.
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