Right out of the gate

So let's get this out of the way.

I'm not on facebook.

You probably know that.  In fact, you probably know that at some point in our conversation (in real life--you know, talking, to each other) that you will reference something everyone [on facebook] already knows will either be met with a blank stare and/or a kind "I'm not on facebook" from yours truly or you yourself will say it as realization sets in.  [For the record, I'm proud of that.  How many people do you know have a tagline?]

Let's face it (get it, face?), it seems as if everyone is on THE social network of the right here and now.  And I'm not against it by any means--it's a great tool, if used properly.  Sure, it's a great way to get in touch with people--especially people you aren't able to get in touch with on a regular basis for whatever reason which, we all know but don't admit, means you're just not making the effort to do so.  Seriously, is it that hard to pick up a phone?  No, it's just easier to type a couple of lines into a keyboard (on your "wall") while feasting on cheetos trying not to get the crumbs on your bed at the same time.  Eventually your "friend" will read it, and post something genuine or witty or snarky or (gasp!) surprising in response, if they post anything at all.  Kudos!  You have had a "real" experience with your "friend."

But that's not it. Not really.  Well, partially.
See, here's the truth (for me, anyway):
It's not good for me.
Yeah, I like my friends.  Love them, truth be told.  Love hearing from them, knowing what they're doing, what's going on, what's happening in their world (what be jiggin wit you, hustla?).  And it is hard to stay in touch on a regular basis.  But I don't need to be there, every minute of every day.  If I am (or feel like I am), I start to feel as though I'm not when I don't know what's going on.  Why wasn't I there?  Why can't I be there?  Why did I miss out?  Is there something wrong with me?  It's because they don't like me.
Paging (insert psychiatrist here) . . . paging (insert psychiatrist here) . . .
Ignorance is bliss, man.  That's what it boils down to.  We know too much. Knowledge is power, but it's a slippery slope.  We are working ourselves into a frenzy (is meat good for you or bad for you today?  Depends on when you're reading this), and it's just not healthy.  Does that make facebook unhealthy?  Everything in moderation, kids.

. . . now, take a look at this.  If you've read this far, you can see the real problem.  Can you imagine me on facebook, with this crap?  How long before you ditched me--sorry, "unfriended" me--after these insanely long diatribes?  And tweeting . . . pfft, right.  However, my friend Cortney Lee (shout out!) recently invited me to check out her blog, and it seemed like the perfect place to go.  Who knows what you'll see here--long, short, serious, silly . . . maybe nothing at all, and then something.
Thanks for reading, and welcome to Bikini Tops, Droopy Drawers and the Art of Nonexistence.
See you around.